I am just going to start out by saying, I know what you are thinking “Oh she is just another girl who is going to try to talk about fitness like she has been doing it for years!”
And my response to that, you couldn’t be any further from the TRUTH! I absolutely, 1000% hate physical activity of any kind, especially sweating! To be honest, I still to this day, don’t know how I got through those 14 years of playing softball.
^One of my senior pictures in my sweet pink uniform :), taken Summer of 2008^
But in all seriousness, I know that those negative feelings are just a little obstacle that I will have to overcome to be able to reach the bigger goal that I have set for myself. But wait, where is this all coming from? Why all of a sudden do I care about the amount of physical activity that I partake in on a daily basis?
Flashback to last night:
Kyle: “Hey you keep putting my scale away girl!”
Me: “Umm yeah I should have chucked that thing the moment it set foot inside this house!”
Kyle steps on the scale and smiles.
I step on the scale and feel like chucking it out the window!
HELLO SAMANTHA! That was your first mistake.
I couldn’t believe what I saw. I was even feeling a little bit “lighter” after trying to change-up my diet. Nope. That is not what the scale said. So I shoved that evil scale back into the closet and huffed away, like I showed it who was boss or something, PSSHT!
Once I was in bed, I started thinking about why that made me so upset. I definitely do not consider my self anywhere near “fat”. Although there seem to have been those days when I feel less than amazing but what other woman doesn’t?
But if I am being honest with myself, I have been noticing that my clothes do not fit the way they used too. So initially when I saw that number, it was sort of like reinforcing those feelings that I have been trying to not let bother me. Those feelings of guilt and anger that I have let myself feel this way. I strive to be nothing short of happy and thankful for the life I have and to let a number on the scale provoke such thoughts made me feel sick.
And that is EXACTLY why I got so upset. I do NOT want to feel that way! I do NOT want a number on a scale to be the deciding factor of whether or not I am happy or upset that day. I KNOW that I am better than that!
So I decided that I am going to do something about it. Starting this Monday, August 27th, I am challenging myself to participate in some form of physical activity that I do not already encounter in my everyday routine. I already know that I will be getting a little bit of exercise from walking around campus and at work.
Luckily for me, I have one of the best motivators in the world, who I know will just eat it up if I give him the opportunity to actually hold me accountable for something. *cough, cough Kyle* Seriously though, the guy deserves a lot of credit. He sure has experienced the ups and downs of my weight gain right along with me. In the four years we have been together, I know have a gained a significant amount of weight for only being 4 feet, 11 inches but he has never once told me that I wasn’t beautiful!
^Kyle and I @ our first HC dance, September 2008, right after we started dating^
So how long is this going to last? Honestly, I have no freaking clue! Since I am starting at the beginning of the semester I HOPE I can make it until the end! Of course that is going to take us all the way into December and going out and exercising in the cold is not looking to fun right at the moment!
I hope to use my Friday posts not only as an accountability guide but also to help other people who might be feeling the same way. Lets face it, I will take all the support and encouragement I can get! I also want to apologize in advance if you are still reading this post and rolling your eyes. I promise this is NOT going to be the heart and soul of my blog. But it this has been a goal that I have had set for myself for a while and I guess you could say that last night was the “straw that broke the camels back” for me.
So please, if any of you have any tips, tricks, or would like to share any personal experiences I am ALL EARS! 🙂
Thank you for stopping by!